Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Zoo Blues

PETA Has a Point:

After a blue Christmas and a New Years that was decidedly painted black, my outlook on life was anything but rosy.  When we finally went on break I spent most of my time in a vegetative state firmly planted in front of the TV.  I told myself that my ongoing inactivity was justified and I was simply making up for the previous months of over-activity.  Unfortunately overindulging in being lazy didn’t make me feel any better, and the only thing it accomplished was to make all of my clothes fit a lot tighter.  To combat this stagnant phase in my life I decided I needed to get out and do something.  But what the hell was there to do in Hefei?
Clearly the toxins in the air must have been affecting my judgment.  I love animals and somehow reasoned that seeing the famous white tigers and giant panda at the Hefei zoo would boost my spirits.  Within the first five minutes of being there it became clear that the only thing this visit was going to do was drive me into a deeper state of depression. 
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) makes a fuss and puts up a fight on behalf of all animals; in Hefei I saw firsthand what happens when PETA isn’t there to throw any punches.
It was the first warm day in Hefei in 2011.  It was during Spring Festival break; families were out and about.  Swarms of people descended upon the zoo like a colony of ants that discovered a summer picnic.  I entered among the throngs of eager gawkers and we funneled our way along the cement path through a vast construction zone where they appeared to be planting a new forest of some sort.  There was a big brown furry mass up ahead with a bright red cloth on it.  As we approached I saw it was a two-humped camel standing on a short tether with a small foot ladder next to it.  People could pay to sit on the red cloth between the two humps and get their picture taken. 

Beyond this welcoming committee were the chain linked enclosures for various deer, elk and a small pen for some zebras.  There was no attempt to create a ‘habitat’ for these animals; just dirt, a trough for their food and if they were lucky maybe a few tree stumps.  I continued on and was assaulted by the unnatural, blaring and shrill sounds of some “fun forest” rides and arcade games.  I gave a death glare to send bad karma in the general direction of the offensive clatter, and to my horror I saw that the cage closest to this noise pollution belonged to the animal with the biggest ears in the world: the elephant. 

Imprisoned within austere iron bars was an enormous, lone Asian elephant.  He stared into space with a gaze that was both bored and searching.  It was a haunting, human gaze.  In the wild elephants wander several miles in a day; this one was restricted to a shed and a cement pad roughly the size of a basketball court enclosed with electric wires, spikes on the ground, a ditch and a firm set of metal bars.      
My heart had sunk to the pit of my stomach after seeing this poor pachyderm, so I turned and navigated my way through the bumper cars and past the rusting miniature roller coasters and followed a sign pointing to the monkey cages.  On my way I passed a camel gnawing on a discarded milk box, and a mangy ostrich that was missing half its feathers, and the ones it did have were ashy gray rather than sleek and black. 
The deeper in I got, the more it felt like I was in some twisted nursery rhyme and had landed on the island of the misfit toys.  The animals here were just stuffed playthings; a chimpanzee cast off because she was too small, a baboon tossed aside because he had dry patches of skin, and enormous tigers that were broken and didn’t do anything but lie down all day long.  There were performers there too.  There were big scary dogs that would bark on cue when people shouted and kicked at the fences of their tiny kennels.  And there was the monkey that would swing dangerously from the only tree in its cage and would then imitate the clapping of the people. 

Perhaps the saddest were the bear and the rare red panda that would beg on hind legs for food that people would throw to them in spite of all the signs warning people not to feed the animals.  My heart sunk down past my knees as I watched the bear eat a fully wrapped piece of candy that someone threw in for it.  As if these scenes and settings weren’t upsetting enough, perhaps the most disheartening and ironic of all was viewing the white tigers and the giant panda.


These animals are the most treasured and symbolic of all the animals in China, and yet they were the most sorely mistreated of them all.  Unlike the other toys in the land of the misfits, these ones weren’t meant to be played with, they were trophies and they were meant to be stared at.  The majestic striped cats had the smallest cages and there was absolutely nothing in them but a cement floor and the cats themselves.  The panda at least got a sprig of bamboo and had grass on the floor, but it was literally lying on a pedestal.  By now my heart was under my feet and I was stomping all over it, so I decided to get the heck out of there, half terrified of what I would see next. 

I threaded my way through the thick crowds, pausing on occasion when people would ask to get their picture taken with me, accepting my role as just another part of the freak show.  I waved goodbye to the poor camel that was still standing in the same spot at the entrance.  I squeezed into the overcrowded substandard bus and said good-riddance to the substandard zoo.  The couch, the emotional safety of watching re-runs of Friends and the inevitable tightening of my clothes wasn’t sounding nearly so bad anymore.
Summary: Animal rights activists may be loud and obnoxious, but it’s far easier to tolerate them than it is to tolerate the sight of Nature’s most beautiful creatures living in the most unnatural way.   

Saturday, February 12, 2011

January in Review

THINGS I LOVE JANUARY
1.       Vacation (Aston is remodeling so we actually got three weeks off.  Not sure I would’ve survived otherwise)
2.       Knowing that I will be leaving Hefei in one month
3.       Knowing that my future employers are awesome
4.       Moving a bunch of my stuff down to Huangshan
5.       Watching bootlegged TV series of Mad Men . . .
6.       . . . Friends . . .
7.       . . . Glee
8.       Sesame and peanut powder candy from Huangshan
9.       Snow days that cancelled some classes
10.   Winning the top prize at the Aston Spring Festival party. . . the prize was a juicer that I will likely never use

THINGS I MISS
1.       Central heating
2.       Carpets
3.       My warm and cozy bed at home
4.       Sitting in front of the fire at the cabin
5.       Showers that stay hot for longer than 15 minutes
6.       Adequate cold weather shoes
7.       Knowing that if there’s a power outage it’s because of weather and not because Aston forgot to pay the bill
8.       Warm weather
9.       My sanity
10.   My friends and family



The Winter of my Discontent

How Aston Spells the Holidays: F.U.
By the time December rolled around in the not-so-glorious city of Hefei, my personality was starting to take on the same characteristics I would use to describe the city: frantic, agitated, cold, depressing and with little bits of ice growing steadily thicker by the day.

The only thing keeping me going was the reassuring thought that the holiday season was upon us.  I listened to my Christmas playlist obsessively and watched every movie I could find that had even a hint of Holiday cheer.  I kept reminding myself that we FINALLY had some vacation days to look forward to.  And of course, there was the Aston holiday party!
The party was scheduled for the 17th, and I was interested to see what the Chinese take on this Western holiday would be.  At home, Christmas is ‘the most wonderful time of the year!’  It’s a fact.  Ask Andy Williams.  I was certainly hoping some of that spirit of goodwill toward men would hold up on the other side of the world.  But by the time the party was over, I was fairly certain the Holiday Spirit was another sad example of something lost in translation.  The party itself was great; there was delicious catered food for all of the students and their parents to enjoy.  And for the boss of the company to enjoy.  But all of us teachers doing all the work were provided our own holiday meal beforehand.  We got KFC.  
And as for the ‘vacation’ I was looking forward to, I should’ve known it wouldn’t be that straightforward.  Throughout the previous four months, our schedules were constantly changing.  On Sunday nights we would get the schedule for the upcoming week, and midweek was where they would typically schedule marketing and other erratic variations to the schedule.  The weekend was the only thing that was marginally fixed.  That is to say, that I always had seven classes on Saturday and twelve on Sunday.  It was exhausting, but at least I could plan for it because I knew what to expect.  And then “holiday season” happened. 
First, I got sick in the beginning of December and had to stay home one Saturday.  The following weekend they crammed every free hour that I had on Saturday full of make-up classes.  And although I was making up for the classes I missed, the manager informed me that I would also be fined for the time I had taken off.  The same thing happened to my roommate when he got sick.  It’s standard policy.  The next weekend one of the foreign teachers was on vacation, so yet again all of my spare time on Saturday was filled with covering for his classes.  Mercifully, we actually got Christmas day off and so we only had to work our Sunday schedule that weekend.  That Sunday night when I checked the schedule for the next weekend, I noticed that although our contract specifically says we get New Year’s Day off, which this year fell on a Saturday, they opted to give us New Year’s Eve off instead.  To add insult to injury, they packed every free hour I had that New Year’s day full of classes to make up for the ones that were missed on Christmas.  The Holiday Spirit I was familiar with from home was definitely missing this year.  To make up for it I filled up on whatever spirits I could find in liquid form that New Year’s Eve.  What should have been a time for celebration turned out to be the worst couple of weeks I had suffered through since arriving in China. 
I wish I could say that things got better, but the next few weeks continued along a similar vein.  Another foreign teacher went on vacation, which meant those of us remaining had to cover his classes.  We also had to cram in some catch-up classes because the school was closing for three weeks in late January through early February for remodeling.  It was exhausting.  But at long last, on January 24th the classes stopped.  And with them, whatever remained of my motivation and sanity was cut off as well.  I was emotionally and mentally drained and the only thing I could find to fill up on was apathy.  I stuffed myself full of it, and though I tried to quit my addiction, I was still binging heavily on it when classes started a few weeks later.  The only thing I could bring myself to care about was the fact that I would be leaving Hefei and Aston behind in the finally visible future.  And in fact, that is still all I can bring myself to care about to this day. 
Summary:
The Grinch does exist, and her name is Vivian (the owner of the Aston Hefei School).  The only holiday spirit you will find in Hefei comes in bottle form.  When you are in an Eastern part of the world, don’t expect to enjoy your Western holidays.  But most importantly, when things aren’t going well, try to remember that eventually it will all be reduced to a mere memory. 

Thursday, December 30, 2010

December in Review

Things I love: December

1.       Listening to my iPod Christmas playlist
2.       Care packages
3.      Spending 70¥ on a small tub of Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream, 130¥ for Kahlua, 100¥ for a small bottle of Bailey’s,   8¥ on PBR Black beer and getting to enjoy a beer float for breakfast on Christmas morning 
4.       My fleece granny PJs
5.       Days off for Christmas and New Years
6.       Hanging out with my ex-pat and Chinese friends and getting surprised with a delicious cup of mulled wine on Christmas eve
7.       Listening to Chinese children singing Christmas carols
8.       Having roomie Christmas a few days early and opening presents together

9.       Knowing I’ll be moving to Huangshan in a month
10.   Milk tea (Nai Cha)and drinking hot Ginger-Brown sugar water because, according to the Chinese, it’s good for you

Things I miss: December
1.       Christmas at home
2.       Holiday parties with friends and family
3.       Making tons of Christmas cookies and delivering plates of them to friends
4.       Central heating
5.       My bike (it got stolen)
6.       My car (I hate taking the bus)
7.       My friends and family
8.       Egg Nog
9.       Soy Nog
10.   Pumpkin Spice Soy Nog


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Getting Schooled in China

Lesson #6: The Teacher is the Student
I came to China for many reasons.  I came to travel and see a distant part of the world.  I came to get an inside glimpse into a very foreign culture.  I came to get another perspective on life, and to make sure that when I look back I won’t say “I regret not living somewhere else for a while.”  And of course, I came here to learn how to teach. 

Knowing that I want to get my Masters in teaching and become a high school teacher when I return, I was looking forward to getting some much needed teaching experience.  I was eager to figure out my classroom management style, and since I hope to teach ELL when I get back, teaching English to students here would really help me brush up on my grammar skills.  I just hoped I wouldn’t get stuck with all the youngest students; there would be little to no value that I could see for helping me achieve my future goals.
Some people grow up adoring small children; I grew up indifferent to them.  I think kids are cute, but have always had an underlying fear of them.  To me they are like wolves in sheep’s clothing.  They appear to be adorable, harmless little lambs, but in reality are dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.  Admittedly they wouldn’t harm you physically the way a wolf could, but they can wreak emotional disaster on a person in a matter of minutes.  The little monsters reel you in with their irresistible miniature features and pleading puppy eyes; but at any given moment they may turn into a horrifying pooping, screaming, squirming, snot-gooping inconsolable fiend.  Lock me up in a cold, deserted, condemned haunted mansion 50 miles away from the nearest sign of civilization in the middle of a vast cornfield in the middle of some backwards state in the middle of the U.S., have a different horror movie playing in every room for good measure, and I would probably be more comfortable than I would be teaching a class full of little toddlers that I know full well to actually be mini-monsters in disguise.  I’ve concluded that China has a queer sense of humor.  Not being satisfied with throwing a dirty, stinky pile of culture shock in my face it apparently thought it would be amusing to toss me into the pit filled with these puny people and see what would become of me.   

At Aston there are three full time foreign teachers: my two roommates Oly and George, and me.  Oly taught six months at a different Aston branch before coming here, so they gave him the highest levels.  When they gave me my schedule they said they gave me the lowest levels and youngest kids because of my lack in previous teaching experience.  Both George and I have never taught before.  Clearly being a woman did NOT play to my favor in this instance.  It appeared my nightmare of being around snot monsters was turning into a reality, and what I envisioned would be my ultimate Adventure Epic was to be transformed into a Horror Story.   
In the beginning God said “let there be light.”  As I started my first week of teaching that’s exactly what I begged heaven for as well.  My TESOL classes prepared me for teaching students about grammar and English conversation, but we never delved into babysitting and how to entertain small children that have had zero exposure to the English language.   I learned quickly which games were effective and which were not.  I had to adjust to the idea that Friday and Saturday nights would be devoted to lesson planning and heavy duty sleeping.  I had to try not to take it personally when the youngest students would cry when they saw me, or when the older ones would roll their eyes and ask “is finished now?”  I had to adapt myself to teaching promotional classes in the Primary schools where the classrooms typically have 50-70 very energetic students.  And I had to keep telling myself over and over again that this was fun and that things were getting better.  And somewhere along the line, those phrases became true.  Without knowing how or exactly when, I crossed an invisible barrier and tears were replaced with smiles, some students run to hug me when I entered the room, and upon my leaving others would say emphatically, “thank you, good bye, see you later, thank you!”  Though I didn’t see the value in teaching youngsters before, I have since taken the blinders off that I was wearing and can see the entire picture now.    

One of the first things you learn about China is that nothing is as you expect.  I did not expect that I would have little to no time to travel.  I did not expect to have only two days off instead of the three that were stipulated in my contract, but that was my idiotic decision to comply with that revision.  I did not expect to teach seven different classes on Saturday, only to get up the next morning and teach twelve classes on Sunday.  I did not expect to be teaching children so young they can barely walk.  Had Fate visited me one day and given me a quick glimpse into this part of my future, I probably never would have come here.  And I would have missed out on one of the greatest experiences of a lifetime, and I would never have learned many of the lessons that I am still only just beginning to understand. 
You can read Confucius sayings and Proverbs all day long and be a better person for it if you can apply them to your life.  But the lessons that stick with you are ones you learn through experience, and wisdom that these proverbs try to impart on readers is much more poignant when you are living through examples of them.  Or, in the words of the master philosopher himself, “I hear and I forget.  I see and I remember.  I do and I understand.”
Summary: You may come here for a specific purpose, but often Fate has her own purpose for you.  You will come here to teach, but will end up learning far more about yourself, about others, about the ways of the world than you ever would have expected.  Your opinions about things will change.  Your patience will be tried and your emotional stamina will be tested; you will become a better person for every small victory you win in these battles. 

Monday, December 27, 2010

Ride into the Sunset

Lesson #5: Buy a Bike

When living in a (relatively) large city in China, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, claustrophobic and very stifled.  Being from the Pacific Northwest I am accustomed to having the great outdoors waiting for me on my doorstep.  In Hefei, the outdoors are not great and they’re considerably more challenging to find.  When daycations aren’t available, the next best thing is to go for a bike ride and head to one of the many parks in the city.  This of course requires that you buy a bike.  Here is a step by step guide on how to make a successful purchase.
1.       Know what you want.  Shopping for a bike in China is vastly different than shopping for a bike in the states.  In the U.S. the criteria for buying a bike is that it has multiple speeds, a comfortable seat, is moderately stylish and has a good, highly visible trusted brand name.  If you’re on a budget you’ll try to find a good quality used bike, but it better be damn near perfect.  If you have to buy new, you will; this bike is an investment and you want quality.  In China, a new, high quality bike is for idiots.  Flash that name brand around and your bike will be stolen the second you start to dismount.  When looking to buy my first bike my only stipulations were that it worked, and that it didn’t look too new.
2.       Know your price range.  I set my highest price at 100RMB.
3.       Find a busy market area so there is ample competition to help drive the price down.
4.       Take a Chinese person with you.  They will be able to do all the talking, and will also be able to make sure you’re not getting totally screwed on the price. 
5.       Test the bike before you buy.
6.       Make sure you look reasonably disappointed even if the bike is perfect; you don’t want them to think you want it that bad or you’ll never get the price down. 
7.       Buy two locks for it before you get home; if it’s not secured to something it will probably get stolen.  Again.  (If you’re buying a used bike for only 100RMB, it’s a pretty safe bet you’re buying a stolen bike)
8.       Understand that if your nice, used, previously stolen bike does eventually get stolen from you that’s just Karma.
Once you have your new old-previously-stolen bike you get that same liberating feeling that you had the first time your parents left you for an entire week at some awesome summer camp.  The possibilities are limitless.  Having the bike will also make the huge city shrink just a little in size because you’ll be able to see where things start to connect.  And finally, if you’re lucky, you’ll find a bike route that will become your personal ‘Zen ride.’
 In Hefei I discovered a path that followed the river out to the large reservoir on the outskirts of the city.  Anytime I was feeling overwhelmed, or just wanted a little bit of peace and quiet, or a hint of nature I would ride along my path.  While riding on this path I’ve seen delicate trees transform with the changing of the seasons, stumbled upon a vast botanical garden, watched the sun paint the sky with electric shades of pink just before it sunk into the water, and I’ve seen Coy fish that looked like iridescent dancing rose pedals while they were feeding in a hatchery. 

Summary:  Buy a bike.  Find “your path.”  Appreciate the little moments of freedom and beauty that your squeaky bike will give you.  Also appreciate that if you have a bike you can avoid riding the busses that often have decaying wood flooring and are stuffed so full of people that it makes a can of sardines look spacious.   

Monday, December 13, 2010

Give Yourself a Break!

Lesson #4:  Take a Daycation


One of the first things I learned about teaching English in China is that there are certain inalienable truths.  The first truth is that you will get screwed on your first teaching job in China.  Call it a rite of passage.  Call it NaivetĂ©.  Call it what you will; the bottom line is that this truth held begrudgingly strong for my experience.  In the beginning of my time in China I suffered from an acute bout of disbelief and frustration regarding my lack of free time.  I had signed up for a 20 hour a week contract, so naturally assumed I would have more time on my hands than I would know what to do with.  Without going into particulars, the bottom line is the “20 hour” line was a crock of bull.  My teaching planning, traveling to and from and between classes, and actual classroom time wound up occupying far more than 20 hours.  During the weekdays I teach at different public schools on any given week.  During the weekends I have a set schedule that consists of teaching 7 classes every Saturday and 11-12 every Sunday.  Most of the kids are under the age of 10.  I only get two days off a week and they are not consecutive; so much for weekend trips.  At first I was forlorn.  I thought it appropriate that the walls of our apartment are made of cold hard cement.   They would lend a much more authentic feel to the notion of being stashed away in a cave somewhere. 

After my initial shock and infection of negativity, I started looking for some antidotes.  Some remedies included spending time with my new friends, exploring the city and laughing at all the funny things people wear, and stuffing my face with authentic Chinese food (though this can backfire, literally . . . ahem. . . if you eat too much too quickly).  One of the most effective treatments I found to battle discontentedness turned out to be quite simple.  Take a daycation.  Correction: take lots of daycations. 

I am lucky because Hefei is in a fantastic location.  The Anhui province is home to some of the most famous mountains in all of China, and possibly the world.  If you’ve seen Avatar and can recall the picturesque floating mountains, just keep in mind that those were inspired by the mountain ranges in Anhui.  Furthermore, because it has always been a relatively poor province, many of the ancient cities and sites survived the destructive Cultural Revolution.  Since Hefei is the capital of the Anhui province, it is the hub of various lines of transportation.  Thus, it is easy to take a bullet train to Nanjing or Shanghai, or to take a bus to virtually any tourist site within a six hour driving radius. 

My first daytrip was during the National Day break, and my roomies and I ventured out to Zipongshan.  This is a small mountain about an hour and a half bus ride from Hefei.  What is notable about this mountain is that it demonstrates what the new Chinese mentality is for tourist sites: the rise of the new ‘ancient’ cities and temples.  Most of the buildings we saw here were only about halfway complete, and they were impressive structures that were built in a very traditional style.  Interestingly, half of the funding for these new temples was from the Japanese.  This is ironic because most of the Chinese people I know do not like the Japanese, and I think that has a lot to do with Hefei’s close proximity to Nanjing.  The war memories do not fade so quickly. 
Another daycation that I mentioned in an earlier lesson was my roomies’ and my outing with our new Chinese friends.  They took us to Egret Island and Liangyashan and gave us our first taste of how sweet and fulfilling Chinese generosity can be.  We feasted our eyes on beautiful landscapes and authentic ancient temples, and stuffed our hearts and souls with laughter and happy memories.
 


And then there was Nanjing.  My roommate George and I dedicated one of our days off to exploring this vibrant and booming city.  It was the first time since coming to China that I felt like I found somewhere that was up to speed on modern thinking.  Cars stay in their lanes when they drive, there is a subway system that is timely and has English translations, and there is a Starbucks.  Actually, I counted two.  And a Seattle CafĂ©.  Aside from being comforted by modernity, we were also welcomed with a beautiful sunny day and a city-scape with the trees in full fall color.  After being in Hefei where trees are almost as uncommon as foreigners, it was like a dream coming to Nanjing and seeing the foliage filled hills that surround it. 
Our timing couldn’t have been better; it was like Mother Nature had been hiding this day in her back pocket, waiting for us to arrive.  When we finally got there she greeted us with a hug and a kiss, handed us this small gift and whispered in our ears, “I saved the brightest colors for you, I hope you enjoy!”
Of course, when I traveled to Jiuhuashan a few weeks later I had a suspicion that Mother Nature may have been missing me as much as I had been missing her.  Every time I traveled out of the city, she would treat me with marvelous sunny days and stunning vistas.  I could almost hear the trees murmuring, “See how majestic we are, don’t you miss us?”  And the crisp leaves that fluttered on the branches and danced in the breeze rasped out “Buildings can’t move the way we do.  Buildings don’t change colors.  Do you really like looking at them more than us?”  Each step I took on the time worn path that wound through the bamboo forests and up the mountain sides was both a reminder to me of how much I missed the ‘Great Outdoors’ and was also a small prayer of thanks to whatever forces on Earth conspired to bring me to this magical place and bless me with this wonderful day.



Summary: Travel an hour or travel six hours.  It will be worth it.  Once you are out of your immediate surroundings you will feel like a tourist again, and you will start to look at things through a different filter.  This filter has a way of sifting out a lot of the bad energy and toxins you may have been inhaling in your ‘home city’.  It will bring back into focus what your motive was for coming to China, and will make you thankful for both the good and the bad; the yin and the yang.